Should children be compared to others as a form of motivation?

[eLdavis]

Overtime i have come across parents comparing their children to other children, according to them, this is a way to motivate the child to do better, personally i feel this often has a negative effect. This often leads to hatred amongst the children, and worse case high level of self doubt and insecurity. What's your take on this?

 

[Sanjeev]

This is not good to compare a kid with other kid because everyone has his/her own capabilities. I know it feels bad as a parent when your kid doesn't perform better than other kids in any field, but that's fine. We should try our kid to do his/her best. We must always motivate our kids and try let to know his/her potential.

 

[Nomad]

I compare my kid with others in order to encourage him to do better and inspire him to attempt. However, I also frequently praise him for his achievement. I create a balance and I believe my kid is not under pressure for being compared. I think comparing is good as long as it is done in a healthy way

 

[Kennysplash]

This is a really terrible way of parenting, and I would not want to do this to any of my children. I experienced it while growing up and it was quite horrible to be honest. There are other great ways to motivate and inspire the kids and that is just not one of them.

 

[KrissyCakes09]

Children should never be compared to anyone as they are not those people they are there own individuals.

 

[uptrendfinancialsignal]

I do not like the notion of children being compared to others. It can make some of them to work harder, but it may also destroy their confidence. I was raised in that way too. My mom would say, look at what so and so did and it truly affects me. Encouragement is better than comparison in so many ways.

 

[Ginger]

It's not a good idea to compare and does only bad to the kid but at the end of the day, how will you compare your kids performance ultimately you need to compare even if you like it or not

 

[Kaynil]

Oh, hell now. It doesn't matter if you are the better standing one in the comparison it creates a lot of expectations in both kids to perform. Even as an adult it can be hard to stop comparing ourselves to others so I definitely wouldn't want to give my kids an early start with that.

Like I get a quick joke or comment sometimes happens but if we're talking about to deliberately use comparison as a weapon, yeah, nah.

 

[Mike30]

When I was a kid, I was compared to others in a negative way, and it created self doubt and insecurity, even more into my teen ages. It took me
tons of efforts, reading, self development books to overcome those blocks... and I still get my episodes of it and sometimes I may sound or act arrogantly when I feel attacked or compared negatively.

In today's date, negative comparison in my house is prohibited. And don't allow anybody to compare negatively my kids with anyone. We all are unique, and we all have our own unique strengths and weakness. And we don't have to be like someone or another to be ourselves.

Comparison is inevitable, we all measure our behaviors, life, etc.. in comparison with something or someone. And we all use comparison to evolve and overcome obstacles. But it must be done in a constructive manner, otherwise, it brings a lot of negative effects.